
Not that many years ago, I hung out with a group of friends in a restaurant. Someone brought up a topic that set off one of the worst, heated debates that threatened to tear us all apart. Two of my friends were on the verge of walking away and never looking back. Every group of friends seems to come with one neutral individual who refuses to take a side, remains quiet, and listens. James was that friend. He interrupted the tense moment to ask us a question.
“Does anyone know how gold is purified?”
The question had nothing to do with what we were arguing over. James had, no doubt, learned this random piece of information, found it fascinating, never knew what to do with it once he had it, but needed to unload it.
We were the chosen ones.
“Gold,” he began, “is filled with impurities. To make it pure, it must enter into a complex process.” His visible passion for this topic held our interest.
What followed sounded like an essay he might have written in college. He listed places around the world where gold is mined, what it looks like in its raw state, and, most importantly, how a refinery removes impurities to transform the raw gold into pure and beautiful metal. What none of us realized was that his topic fit our situation as flawlessly as that purified gold.
Here’s a brief explanation of the purification process he shared with us.
- Gold is melted in a furnace.
- Chlorine is bubbled through the liquid.
- The chlorine attaches to impurities in the gold.
- The impurities move toward the top.
- Next, they are skimmed off,
- Leaving the gold more pure.
“Cool,” someone said, “but what does that have to do with our debate.”
“EVERYTHING,” James replied.
“The purification of gold isn’t different from the journey of a friendship,” he said. “In the beginning, while we’re getting to know each other, we come up against complications that heat us like the first step taken to purify the gold.
We bring our issues into the open, much like the impurities rising to the surface of heated gold. Here, problems must be dealt with. Once we have resolved those problems, we can skim them out, making our friendship more pure and beautiful and more valuable. Work through this moment,” he said. “because friendship is always worth it.” James walked out and left us to finish our debate.
That evening four friends grew closer to each other because of their renewed understanding.

THE ALCHEMY OF FRIENDSHIP
So it begins
with questions and interests,
common ground,
and new ground.
Smooth and perfect,
the path before the friends
meanders around bends,
runs straight, and then
takes a turn.
Without warning,
an object lies in the path
between them,
daring to be touched,
easier to avoid.
One by one,
complications ignite,
and the fire consumes the impurities–
burns them to ashes
they sweep away.
What remains is a friendship that
holds stronger,
and shines
bright and true.
by
Leslie Leibhardt Goodman
Perfect!! The story and the poem. Thanks. It is Canadian Thanksgiving and I’m thankful for all my wonderful friends in person and online.
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Happy Thanksgiving, Darlene, I didn’t know Canada celebrated this holiday today. Does the meal resemble our American feast of turkey, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie?
Cheers to friendship!
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The traditional meal is very similar, just a month earlier. Thanks!
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Love it!
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Thank you, Beth. Sometimes I have something I need to say. Today’s story/memory and poem were important for me to share today. I’m so glad you loved this post.
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Love the title on your poem — although it didn’t surprise me. Friendships are more important and last forever, but it does take work and being open-minded. Very timely and relevant, TODAY!
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I apologize for not answering your comment sooner, my daughter’s been in the hospital for two weeks, and we just came home yesterday. Yes, friendships take work and when they are cared for, they are everlasting. I’m glad you enjoyed my post.
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Such a thoughtful poem Leslie! I’m glad that our friendship shines bright and true!
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Zero tarnish and all shine, Ann. A friendship that goes back as far as ours does couldn’t be anything but bright and true. Hugs.
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Yes a bond strengths when the it confronts & addresses the difference in opinions in an honest way. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful & meaningful poem!
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Remember when I told you to write the words you need to write? This was a poem I needed to write. It makes me happy to know you found beauty and meaning in my words.
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Wow! I am bowled over by your story and your poem. What a wise friend!
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The story stayed with me over the years and reminds me that anything worth having takes work. I’m so glad that you liked both my story and poem.
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Pleased to find my way here at this weekend, for this pertinent to me, post, Leslie.
Wishing you all the right words ahead, in 2021.
Jan/Bookseedstudio
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I’m so happy that you visited my blog and enjoyed this post. I, too, am hoping to find the right words to share this year. I’m also hoping you’ll visit me again here.
Best wishes to you, Jan.
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